Like if you have an overly critical parent. But sometimes, it’s more appropriate to get depressed. They’re fighters, and they will work as hard as they can to avoid conflict, disappointment, and vulnerability. “Perfectionists typically refuse to get depressed. This way, you can then take steps to change them and overcome perfectionistic beliefs. Instead, what matters is that you begin to notice your thoughts, feelings, and self-talk and look at them objectively rather than just accepting them as true. You can set aside time for a journaling practice, or you can jot down thoughts on-the-go, using your phone or notebook that you always have handy to record your self-talk as it occurs.Ĭatch your thoughts in a way that works for you (there isn’t a right or wrong-or perfect-way to do it). Consider keeping a daily journal to recognize, track, and reflect on your thoughts. Tune In to Yourself & Keep Track of Your Thoughtsīegin to listen to yourself so you can catch your bully in the act and bring it into your full awareness so you can actively deal with it. People often take advantage of perfectionists in this way, so while perfectionism may seem like an attractive characteristic, it may actually be making you more vulnerable to being taken advantage of and given more work than you can realistically handle.” – GinaMarie Guarino, LMHC at PsychPoint 4. The consequence is you are given more work with fewer resources, and people expect you to take care of problems for them. If you are constantly producing work that is seemingly effortless but is actually requiring a ton of your time and energy, the people around you only see that you can complete the task. “A massive pitfall of striving for perfection is what it communicates to the people around you. Remember: Perfectionism Leads to More Work! Connect to a sense of shared humanity, looking at others’ mistakes and granting yourself permission to make your ownģ.Consciously begin to treat yourself with kindness, forgiveness, and understanding.Notice how you talk to yourself, and after distancing yourself from your inner critic, begin to replace harsh belittling with realistic and encouraging words.To foster self-love and replace self-criticism and the drive to avoid failure and other imagined negative consequences, begin adding these strategies to your life: 2 1įortunately, self-compassion can be learned and nurtured. In fact, self-compassion is one of the greatest protections against perfectionism and its unhealthy effects self-criticism and perfectionism are factors in many mental health disorders, and self-compassion is a buffer. Foster Self-Compassionīuilding and embracing self-compassion is key in overcoming perfectionism because the two concepts are closely linked. You’re gently taking a few steps back and making room for different thoughts to begin to replace perfectionistic ones, including thoughts of self-compassion. It’s a thought and isn’t necessarily true.” Doing this over and over again begins to turn the tables on your self-doubt. One simple way to begin distancing yourself from perfectionism is to notice your thoughts and beliefs and remind yourself, “I’m having the thought that I’m not good enough (or whatever lie your critic is feeding you at the moment). Recognize that your thoughts about yourself, including the belief that your worth is dependent on your performance and results, are only that-unreliable ideas that, while loud and incessant, do not represent reality. Therefore, an important first step in overcoming perfectionism is distancing yourself from your inner critic. It’s very difficult to like who you are and feel competent and confident when negative self-talk is constantly screeching over the top of other thoughts and emotions. Perfectionism is a loud inner critic telling you you’re not good enough no matter what you do or how hard you work. Here are 21 tips for overcoming perfectionism: 1.
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